Unsatisfactory; A Review of Allegiant

I finished Veronica Roth's Allegiant the other day and now I'm mad at everyone. I'm mad at Ms. Roth, I'm mad at Shailene Woodley, I'm mad at Miles Teller (which is hard for me, because I love him), I'm mad at whoever directed and will direct the future movies, I'm mad at my mom, I'm just mad, Okay? But not at Theo James because he's too pretty to be mad at.

Before you go any further, you must understand that I will discuss the book in it's entirety so if you haven't read it, don't read this. I hereby absolve myself from your whining if you do not heed this warning.

I should have know when I found out that the author was changing this novel to two voices instead of one that things were going to get shitty. Why do you need two voices if everyone survives?

Quick background for those who haven't and probably now will not read the series, the novels are about (shocker shocker) a dystopian society where all individuals are broken up into five factions: Abnegation; the selfless, Candor; the honest, Erudite; the wicked smart, Amnity; the kind and Dauntless; the brave. In the first novel there is a test that you go through when you turn a certain age and that test determines which faction you will be in. Our heroine, Tris, is born Abnegation but transfers to Dauntless. Where she meets Four, a fellow Abnegation to Dauntless transfer and then they save everyone from dying and being dead. In the second book things start to fall apart, a bit of a war starts, Tris and Four are in love, but then they fight and shit goes down and at the end of the novel we find out that they aren't the only ones left on the earth anymore, like they had been lead to believe. And now it is expected of them to go out beyond the walls of the city. Dun dun duhhhh!

So when Allegiant begins we're caught in a debate between the force in power and Tris & her crew as to whether or not they should leave the city and find these other people. They defy the rules and you start the book thinking that they whole thing is going to be about the fight to get outside the walls but alas it's not. We find out that the entire city is one giant experiment run by what is left of the United States Government in order to correct damaged genes. Which, I will admit, I found geeeeenius! Roth took the series somewhere that can honestly say I never expected.

Also in this novel for the first time we bounce back and forth between chapters in Tris' voice and chapters in Four's voice. Now, after reading 2 entire novels in Tris' first person narrative, it was extremely difficult to not read the sexy, manly, Four's chapters in a 16 year old girls voice for the first few paragraphs. Anyway, once I got over that I did enjoy hearing things from his perspective. However, his personality was not that different from Tris'. Which probably added to the reasoning why I read his parts as a young girl. His language, thought process and temperament was much like Tris' so, I just found it a little bit annoying.

The novel itself is just as well written as the last two, with some shocking developments that I felt could have been further explored. Such as the fact that Tris' mother wasn't born in the city, but instead was born elsewhere, rescued by this government agency and then entered the experiment voluntarily. Also new characters were introduced that drove the story forward, but not dynamically enough for my taste.

I'm probably being overly critical because I absolutely hated the way the novel, and thus the series, ended. Tris, the heroine of the piece and sole narrator of the first two books, is killed while saving the city from yet another tragedy. Then, we're tortured for chapter after chapter of Four's perspective, dealing with being in his head as he grieves for this girl that he loved, this girl that had changed him for the better.

I guess I just don't understand why Tris had to die. Yes, she sacrificed herself, first for her brother and then for the greater good, but the way it all happened just seemed so ridiculous and pointless and I cannot help but feel like, and this is going to garner some very strong feelings from some people, but I cannot help but feel like the author was simply trying to one up the endings of other novels.

At the end of Harry Potter we lose Fred and Lupin and half of Hogwarts. At the end of The Hunger Games we lose Prim and Finnick and it blows.

And I'm not the author, so my opinion counts for a bucket of nuts, but I just do not in any way feel like that is where the story lead. Only because it was so pointless. Yes, Tris sacrifices herself, and yes her brother would never have been brave enough to perform the task that needed to be done, but with all the tight places Tris has found her way out of throughout the series, I just do not believe that she wouldn't be able to make her way out of this one.

Then some could argue that in a lot of those near death experiences, Four was there to "save" her and he wasn't around this time as he was off doing his own hero thing. We'll to that I say "poo poo" because there were plenty of other situations throughout the series where Tris was Four's hero. So I don't think you have a leg to stand on. And if that is a point that Veronica Roth is trying to bury (which I highly doubt she is) then shame on you Veronica, hasn't Stephanie Meyers done enough to damage teenage girls self worth and strength?

I may sound like the Queen of Douchonia, but I honestly feel like Veronica Roth killed her off for shock value and nothing else. To show a sacrifice for the better good? Naaa, everyone else and their mother has died throughout the series (including Tris' mother) so I don't think more sacrifice is needed. Tris was the only one who could have done it? Ok, yeah maybe, but then I go back to my comment about all the other tight spots this tiny bitch has been in.

And all of this comes down to my final argument. In order to complete her task, Tris has to walk through a Death Serum, which she voluntarily does due to her "advance genes." She survives the serum only to be confronted by the "Big Bad Guy" with a gun. Now she's had guns all day long, all day long on her mission she's like "bang bang bang" and all of the sudden, Ooops I've lost all my weaponry? I just don't buy it. And the fact that he's in there at all is completely unnecessary. Oh, and the piece de la resistance? He's in a frickin' wheel chair. Now you tell me that the person that basically saved an entire city, that risked her own life and the lives of the people she loved in order to do what is right, the girl who was able to fight her way into and out of enemy lines multiple times, would not be able to out maneuver a dude in a wheel chair with a gun?

Anyway, you can tell I have a lot of feelings about this. And I actually threw the book on the floor when I finished. Here I'll show you...

Basically, what I'm trying to say is... Unless you have a really really really really really great reason to kill off your main character at the end of the series (like *cough* JK Rowling *cough* - a situation in which it would have made sense and the divine Ms. Jo found a way around for us, whew!) just don't do it. Do not.

Because when I say that it has made me hate everything, I mean it has really made me hate everything. I thought the movies was great and now I don't know if I have any interest in seeing any of the other ones. Why am I going to invest my time and money in a series where I don't see my investment come back to me in at least some sort of happy ending. (ie: MockingJay. That was no where near Happy Town, but it at least concluded in a way I could get behind. And I even thought Prim's death was pointless, but I can get behind it and understand why. Just like Finnick's, even though we were in love and that one was a little bit more difficult to get over.)

I'm not saying that there needs to be 2.5 kids and picket fences and dinner on the table at night. But you could have given us loyal fans something Veronica! Something! 

Lose Your Mind

Last night I couldn't sleep and that's because MTV's Teen Wolf lived up to this season's tag line. By the end of the episode, I felt like I was losing my mind. And apparently, I was, because my mother had to ask me if I was OK because my gasping could be heard from rooms away.

The show itself is completely underrated because of it's origins. Some refuse to watch it because nothing could compare to the Michael J. Fox movie and some refused to watch because it's on a network that touts teen pregnancy. Either way, if you don't, you're missing out.

Teen Wolf is not meant to stand up against the original film, it is mean to stand alone. Dark and twisted, this show actually delves into what would happen if the supernatural took hold of small town, in any and all ways. Now in it's 4th season (or second half it's third, who knows), the show has gone from quirky hairy teenagers, fighting off their human predator, the Argents, to multiple levels of the supernatural.

Before diving too deeply into a background synopsis, let set up some of our cast of characters.

Scott McCall- the "Teen Wolf" of the piece, the series begins with his being bitten.
Stiles - Scott's best friend, genius and intuitive with all thing supernatural, though he had no interest in become the supernatural.
Derek Hale - the only werewolf left in Beacon Hills, or so Scott and Stiles think.
Allison Argent - The girl that steals Scott's heart within the first 10 minutes of the show. Also she's a member of an ancient family, dedicated to protecting the world from werewolves, The Argents. Awkward.

A lot of other characters are introduced throughout the series, but these are the most important for our purposes.

Anyway, Season 2 investigated the Kanima, a reptile like creature that has the power to paralyze it's victims. The group soon discovers that Kanimas do not act on their own and are instead at the whims of their master. Throughout the season Scott fights the lineage of succession, refusing to join Alpha Derek's pack and in the end showing his dominance over tropes that have existed in werewolf mythology. In the end the Kanima is identified in his human form, but his master escapes.

Things get darker (and creepier) in the 3rd Season when we're introduced to yet another creature that has it's roots in humanity. The Darach is a druid, once meant to protect wolf packs, that has turned to the dark arts. Not only is the Darach their enemy, but a pack of Alpha wolves has moved into Beacon Hills, threatening Scott as he learns that he is destine to become a True Alpha. Meaning, he does not need to kill another Alpha to become one, he is a natural born leader.

Throughout this season the Darach sacrifices classmates and citizens alike all across Beacon Hills. With the last collection of three being Scott, Stiles and Allison's parents. In order to save their parents the three must open up their minds in a way that they never have before, bringing them through the doors of death. In the end, all is hunky dory, but the open passage into their brains sets us up for what is to come in Season 4. (Or the second half of Season 3, it's not entirely clear how they're marketing this crap anymore)

And hence how I lost my mind.

Here we are, trucking along, thinking every thing is fine. Scott is now an Alpha, he's growing a nice little pack that includes two of his "Alpha" enemies, Isaac (whom Derek turned in seasons prior), Derek (who lost his Alpha status to save his sister) and human counterparts Stiles, Allison, Lydia (she's a bad ass banshee, FYI) and others. Unfortunately things can't always be happy when you live on northern California's version of the Hellmouth.

As the series investigates Japanese culture, including the encampment of Japanese Americans during WWII, we're introduced to a new evil. The nokitsune is an evil fox like spirit, bent on causing all types of mischief in this sleepy little town. But first it must find solace in human form. Which it does, in Stiles.

Now for you to fully understand why the fandom loses it's mind at this prospect, you must understand their love for Stiles. Throughout the series he has not only been the genius to put many a mystery together, he's also been the comic relief at some fairly stressful times. So the fact that his life is now in jeopardy has caused a lot of havoc. Hence why I couldn't really sleep last night.

But one good thing about it all is that we get to see Dylan O'Brien show off his acting chops. Jumping back and forth between our sweet, lovable Stiles and the evil spirit that has possessed him, O'Brien has opened up the series for not only himself, but the other actors around him, truly pushing every one to bring their A Game.

Maybe I haven't convinced you to watch, but I should have. If you enjoy being tripped out on some crazy ass mind games, but maybe realistic situations aren't your thing (I'm looking at you, The Following) than this show is for you.

This season finales in a few weeks. But it's all good, you have plenty of time to catch up on all seasons before the Summer premier. Like any show it has it's sophomore moments, but if you stick to it and get the most current season, you will not be disappointed. End scene. 

Throwback Thursdays

I just wrote an entire blog on Buffy the Vampire Slayer which I then accidentally selected ALL and covered up with the letter "n." I know myself well enough to know that if I tried to rewrite that now, it would be complete and utter shite. So I'll write on Joss Whedon's master piece another time.

Instead I take this time to discuss my plans for this blog. I want to critique TV, Film and books, but I also want to take some time to gush over the ridiculous stuff that I love. Because sometimes the 16 year old in you just needs to be released or it builds up and I start playing Jane Austen movies in my room, living beneath my sheets, only coming out for ice cream and/or Doritos. 

I've also decided that on Thursdays I'm going to have a Throwback day, for all the movies and TV shows that molded and created the little TV obsessed monster that I am. So, for now, I'm going to follow up Tuesday's comprehensive list of all the shows I currently watch with comprehensive lists of all the shows and films that existed during my formidable years. Hence, really, here is a list of why I'm the way I am. 

(Also, quick interlude, because they're not currently on right at this moment, my brain forgot Downton Abbey and Covert Affairs. I didn't forget them, my brain did. Anyway, I digress...)

TV: 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek, Roswell, 7th Heaven, Gilmore Girls and Felicity. 

These shows made my life and were my life when I was a kid. No, seriously, my parents probably should have had me institutionalized with the panic attacks I would have if  a TV was not available to me and I hadn't set a VHS to record. It's funny because I know I watched a lot more TV back then, but apparently these are the only programs that stuck with me. 

Movies:

10 Things I Hate About You, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Can't Hardly Wait, She's All That, Empire Records, The Goonies, Disturbing Behavior, The Faculty, The Virgin Suicides, Can't Buy Me Love, The Dead Poets Society, Say Anything, Dirty Dancing, Stand By Me and Mystic Pizza.

Let's just say while other kids were making friends and hanging out with actual people, I was at the library pulling movies off the shelf (some of which my mom had to be there for me to take out) becoming best friends with imaginary people. I can clearly remember scanning the shelf at the library for new movies, any movies, while my mom yelled at me to finish up because I was taking forever.


As crazy as it sounds, these above shows and movies helped to groom me to this lovely individual that I am today. They each taught me lessons that I carry with me and every Thursday you lucky saps get to find out how and maybe find a new film or show to love...

A Comprehensive List of My Life In Television

Yes, the title of this blog is a mouth full. Even for me. Who likes to talk. A lot.

But as I thought and obsessed over what to name this blog, I realized that if I cornered myself into only TV, I would be doing everyone a disservice. Because I do a lot more than just watch TV, although I'm sure my parents would argue otherwise.

I also read and watch movies. So, yeah. There's that. And I got a lot of opinions to be had. 

My aim on this new soap box is to discuss literature, television and films. My three favorite things (besides raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens and bright copper kettles) in one place. 

So far today I've only watched one show, a recording of last nights Star-Crossed. Now why, oh why, is a 30 year old watching a CW show directed at tweens and teens. That is an excellent question. One that I hope we can get to the bottom of via this blog. 

For the first entry though, I'm just going to make a comprehensive list of all the shows airing currently that I watch. That way you can judge me, have a laugh, move on with your life and tell me what I should be watching. 

Disclaimer: I don't watch all the shows you think I should be watching, which are, but not limited to: Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Madmen, Game of Thrones, Scandal, etc. I may watch them someday, but today is not that day. And it will never be that day if you pressure me, so lay off. 

Shows that I am currently watching are: 

Revenge - Listen, this show isn't meant to change your life, it's meant to make you gasp with soapy goodness, and boy does it deliver.

How I Met Your Mother - When I can, cause it's funny.

Switched at Birth - Every episode I say to myself "why are you watching this show? why are you tweeting about it?" I don't know.

Star-Crossed - Everyone loves a classic R&J tales, especially a theatre nerd like me.

The Fosters - I just don't know how to quit you.

Dancing with the Stars - I'm no longer ashamed to love a well choreographed routine.

Castle - I'll watch anything Nathan Fillion ever does in this life and the next.

Teen Wolf - I don't owe you any type of explanation but if you insist his name is Dylan O'Brien and he's brilliant.

New Girl - She slipping, but like any hero, I wont be the one to let go of her hand.

Mindy Project - I want to BE Mindy Khaling when I grow up.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - It didn't win the Best Comedy Golden Globe for nothing.

Marvel's Agents of Shield - Again, I don't owe you any kind of explanation but if I did it would go like this - take out the name Nathan Fillion, add Joss Whedon.

Twisted - I don't have an answer for you.

Awkward - Hilarious in it's first seasons, slipped up a bit this last round, now let's see what happens.

Modern Family - All of the things.

Suburgatory - Flying in under the radar, this one surprised me. But in a good way. Plus, Alan Tudyk.

Nashville - I will watch Connie Briton take a sh*t if it's televised and done artistically. Plus the music on this show is Grade A, top notch. 

The Big Bang Theory - It's just funny people.

Reign - I started this one because it was Mary Queen of Scots and stuck around because I'm 16.

Bones - I'm just an Angela looking for her Hodgins and for that reason I will never move on. (Even though they pushed me away for a while when that baby was born in a manger, come on!)

Enlisted - This one pulled me in with its beautiful cast of men in uniform and snagged me with it's humor.

We'll start with this. According to this list, 4 out of 5 Dentist agree that I watch too much TV. Well F the dentists.

I like television, it's my hobby. It has been since I begged my parents to let me stay up and watch Doogie Houser MD. Since I sobbed my eyes out when Buffy had to kill Angel. Or when Joey climbed out of Dawson's window and ran down to the creek only to be told "In the morning, with Katie Couric!" And especially when Luke kissed Lorelai for the first time outside the Inn. 

And if loving TV is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.